How I’ve Moved Through Every Leadership Path And What Each One Taught Me About Capacity, Support, and Timing
I’ve walked the solo path….. The supported path….. And the collective path.
More than once.
For a long time, I thought that meant I couldn’t commit…. or that I hadn’t “figured it out yet.”
Now I understand something different:
Each transition wasn’t failure.
It was my nervous system asking for a structure that fit who I was becoming.
When I Chose the Solo Path (and didn’t realize how much I was carrying)
Some of my earliest work happened almost entirely alone. I liked the autonomy….. I liked moving at my own pace….. I liked not needing permission.
What I didn’t see at the time was how much I was:
processing doubt internally
holding responsibility without reflection
normalizing exhaustion as independence
I wasn’t failing…. I was containing everything by myself. The solo path taught me self-trust…. but it also showed me the limits of self-containment.
When I Sought Support (and mistook education for holding)
Eventually, I knew I needed support. So I invested in courses, programs, mentors, and containers. I learned skills…. I gained language…. I had big “aha” moments.. While I was inside those structures, I felt grounded….. When they ended, I often felt unmoored.
That wasn’t because the support was bad. It was because support isn’t the same as shared responsibility.
The supported path taught me discernment:
what I could integrate on my own
what I actually needed help holding
It also showed me that buying more education doesn’t replace relational stability.
When I Stepped Into Collective Spaces (and felt everything get louder)
Collective paths have changed me the most.
Why Collective Leadership Fits Me Now
There’s one more piece that matters here….timing. For most of my adult life, collective responsibility would have been too much. I raised four children largely on my own for sixteen years. Before that, I had years of “single parenting training” inside a marriage that required me to self-regulate, self-lead, and carry far more than most people could see. That season shaped me.
It taught me:
how to stay steady when others are dysregulated
how to lead without controlling
how to support growth without taking over
And it also taught me when not to add more responsibility.
Now my children are grown. They’re leading their own lives. And when I look at them….. their independence, discernment, and self-trust… I can see the leadership that was forged quietly over time. This is the season where collective leadership no longer overwhelms my system. It activates it.
Why I Consciously Chose a Collective Structure
After walking solo paths and supported paths, I knew one thing clearly:
I wasn’t looking for more autonomy…. I wasn’t looking for more education……I wasn’t looking to perform leadership.
I was ready to practice it…. in relationship.
That’s where Arbonne came in.
Not as a shortcut…..Not as a trend. But as a collective structure where:
people grow at different speeds
leadership is relational, not positional
support and success are actually linked
It’s a system that allows me to bring what I’ve spent decades developing:
nervous system regulation
space-holding
real-life leadership
And to grow alongside others, not ahead of them.
The moment my actions affected others… their income, confidence, sense of safety…. leadership became embodied.
This wasn’t about strategy anymore. It was about regulation. I learned quickly:
people bring their whole nervous systems into business
growth stirs fear before it settles into clarity
leadership requires steadiness, not certainty
There were moments I wanted to pull back…..Moments I questioned whether I was cut out for it…..What I see now is that nothing was “going wrong.” I was learning how to lead without abandoning myself.
The Transitions Were the Teachers
Every time I shifted paths, it felt uncomfortable. I questioned myself. I wondered if I should have stayed longer. I worried I was “starting over.” But here’s the truth: Each transition increased my capacity. I didn’t lose what I learned…. I carried it forward. The skills from the solo path made me grounded…. The supported path refined my discernment….. The collective path matured my leadership.
None of it was wasted.
What I Know Now (That I Wish I’d Known Then)
Leadership isn’t about picking the “right” path and sticking to it forever.
It’s about asking:
What level of responsibility can I hold well right now?
Where do I need support….and what kind?
Am I growing, or just enduring?
When I stopped judging my transitions, everything softened.
Why I Work the Way I Do Now
I don’t rush people into leadership… I don’t confuse excitement with readiness…. I don’t treat structure as one-size-fits-all. I respect timing…. I respect capacity…. I respect the body’s wisdom. Because I’ve lived the cost of ignoring all three.
What This Means for the People I Work With
I didn’t fail my way through business. I matured through different leadership structures.
And I trust that process now. I don’t rush people into leadership. I don’t confuse potential with readiness. And I don’t expect people to know how to hold others before they’ve learned how to hold themselves. Some people come here to use the products…. Some come for community….. Some eventually feel called into leadership. All of those paths are valid.
My role isn’t to push….. It’s to recognize capacity when it emerges.
If you’re in a season of questioning, shifting, or recalibrating…. you’re not behind.
You’re listening. And that’s a leadership skill most people never develop.
Food for Thought:
Leadership isn’t about ambition.
It’s about having the capacity to hold others without abandoning yourself.
This is the season I’m built for… and I finally trust it.
P.S. This is part 4 of a four part series on leadership… If you want to check out the rest >>>. Part 1: Most People Don’t “Fail” at Business , Part 2: Three Leadership Paths in Business. Part 3: How to Transition Between Leadership Paths Without Burning Everything Down (or Burning Yourself Out)
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