Most People Don’t “Fail” at Business
There’s a sentence I keep returning to lately:
Most people don’t fail at business… they enter leadership roles without leadership support.
It explains burnout. It explains sudden quitting. It explains why capable, intelligent people quietly disappear from entrepreneurial spaces.
And once you see it, you realize the problem was never motivation or discipline….. It was structure.
The Moment You Stop “Just Selling”
Most people think they’re starting a business by selling something.
A product…..A service…. A course…. An idea.
But the moment someone buys through you, a shift happens…..People don’t just want the thing……They want reassurance.
They want context. They want to know they’re not doing it wrong.
They come with questions like:
“Is this normal?”
“Why isn’t this working yet?”
“What should I do next?”
That moment is rarely named…. but it matters.
Because you’re no longer just selling. You’re now holding someone inside uncertainty…. That’s leadership.
And most people are never prepared for that transition.
Leadership Isn’t About Visibility…. It’s About Regulation
Leadership isn’t:
being loud
being confident online
having all the answers
Leadership is:
staying grounded when others spiral
not absorbing other people’s urgency
knowing what’s yours to carry… and what isn’t
This is where many people start to feel like they’re “bad at business.” Their nervous system is overloaded. Their body feels tight, anxious, or avoidant. They start procrastinating, withdrawing, or second-guessing everything.
Not because they can’t do the work…. but because leadership has activated a level of responsibility they weren’t supported to hold.
The Myth of “Just Share What Worked for You”
A common piece of advice in entrepreneurial spaces is:
“Just share your experience.”
But experience alone doesn’t help someone navigate:
slow progress
unexpected outcomes
disappointment
fear of failure
Without leadership support, this happens:
sellers feel responsible for others’ results
leaders over-function or disappear
people internalize systemic gaps as personal flaws
Eventually someone says, “I guess I’m just not cut out for this.” That’s not self-awareness. That’s misplaced blame.
Why So Many People Burn Out Quietly
Burnout in entrepreneurship often looks like:
losing motivation
avoiding visibility
feeling resentful or numb
fantasizing about quitting entirely
But burnout isn’t caused by effort alone. It comes from uncontained responsibility.
When you’re holding:
other people’s expectations
their timelines
their emotional responses
their uncertainty
…without mentorship, modeling, or support, your system eventually shuts down. That’s not failure….. That’s biology.
Leadership Is a Skill… Not a Personality Trait
One of the most damaging assumptions in business culture is that leadership is something you either “have” or “don’t.”
In reality, leadership is learned through:
containment
mentorship
lived experience
feedback over time
People who have backgrounds in:
caregiving
healthcare
teaching
parenting
body-based or therapeutic work
often recognize this sooner… because they’ve already learned that progress is nonlinear and humans need regulation more than pressure. Others are thrown into leadership without guidance and told to “figure it out.”
Many don’t fail….. They simply walk away.
A Reframe That Changes Everything
Instead of asking:
“Why couldn’t I make this work?”
A better question is:
“What level of leadership was I asked to hold… and who was holding me?”
For many people, the honest answer is: No one. And no one thrives alone inside responsibility.
A Quiet Invitation
Some business models are built entirely on independence. Others recognize that growth happens inside relationship.
If you’ve ever felt like:
you were carrying more than you were taught how to hold
your body knew something wasn’t sustainable
you didn’t fail, but something still broke
You’re not imagining it. You didn’t fail at business. You stepped into leadership without leadership support.
People don’t quit because they’re incapable.
They quit because no one taught them how to lead without losing themselves.
And that distinction matters.
P.S. This is Part 1 of a 4 part series…. catch Part 2: Three Leadership Paths in Business Part 3: How to Transition Between Leadership Paths Without Burning Everything Down (or Burning Yourself Out). Part 4: How I’ve Moved Through Every Leadership Path And What Each One Taught Me About Capacity, Support, and Timing
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