Strengthen this and a whole new world of possibilities opens
Some call it a seeker, or a wanderer...... However, a growth mindset is a strength on any journey in life!!
You have one life and it is deeply important. But to truly live your best life, you have to make time to stop and connect within.
Many mothers don't do that in our hectic modern life. ….it often takes massive wake-up calls to do that.......... to consciously go more within, and we aren’t often taught that because our mothers grand-mothers, great mothers were to busy trying to survive, they did NOT have the conveniences we had to make the necessities of life easier. (And that is a whole different post)
However, as the mothers of today we need to make the time to go with-in, because this is where all the answers to our greatest struggles lay and it is where our desires are waiting to be discovered.
Body-based practices are definitely the missing ingredient to igniting a change within….. however NOT addressing your mindset WILL eventually cause a level of stuckness within you again.
If your mindset isn’t set to a growth mindset, you’ll find yourself right back where you started..... This one I know from my own experience....
Maybe you’ll recognize parts of yourself in my stories (that’s why I tell them.... cause if you can find yourself in other peoples stories, it helps to know where to start to look and possibly reclaim parts of yourself!)
Many people think the path within is the spiritual path.... and sometimes this is the place to start.....
I know I did, I started and stopped there for years after my father suicided when I was only 20.... I always felt a pull....an inner tug.....to change something.... to believe in something, to find meaning in life..... Cause death does that to a person..... But you know what else I felt a pull and a tug to back then.... enjoy life, make the most of it..... Find adventures...
And.... if I’m honest with you finding adventures meant sex, because I thought that was fun too.... I liked that whole thing, get together with girlfriends, go dancing, get drunk, look for cute guys.... maybe they'd want to date me.... but dating was never the goal, because I never defined the goal.... I wanted to ‘someday’ get married and have kids and start building a life with someone.
It took a bomb in my life, to finally admit that out-loud... for real. And once I did, I realized I was 23 and getting old, if I wanted 4 kids before I was 30..... There was no time to figure out what would make a good life partner beyond, he must be taller than me (I’m 6ft tall), attractive to me and he must love me.... really..... That’s what I thought would make a good life partner 😬😬😬
I chose a man that met that criteria, yes I was young and naive and so I focused all my attention on that.... and then when the kids started to arrive, I focused all my attention on them....and I was exhausted....... (Because I wasn't exactly getting much help with them, as I didn't know how to ask and he didn't know how to jump in and just start helping.)… And then I focused what ever energy I had left over on trying to figure out a way for our business to start generating more income for us.
In my quest to be all I could be, I also wanted to be a 'great wife' to.... so of course anytime he wanted to have sex, I was available.... even when my body begged me to say no.....
I overrode ALL signals that something was off inside me....
Something was missing.... I cried often, I felt empty..... I actually hated sex, I didn’t want him to touch me.... ever.... yet here I was on the outside.... Happily married and fulfilled it appeared.
Life had other plans for me after the 4th child was conceived.... I was reconnected to be more aligned with my spiritual path..... I deeply desired to grow and sustain a consistent spiritual practice in the face of the daily demands of my life?
My sex life tanked more.... only that didn’t mean I stopped having sex, it meant I disconnected more and more from my body while having sex.... forget orgasms, I’d never experienced one during penetrative sex anyway, so they were never the bench mark for great sex..... Mostly I was bracing from the pain, and locked in my head hoping for it to be over.
The rest of my life I focused on being a good mom, and being more spiritual..... except I cried more.... because I knew my relationship was out of alignment.... way out.... love wasn’t enough to make a good life partner..... AND we both sucked at communication.
Annnnnd I didn’t even know what was fun or pleasurable anymore, and I didn’t know where to start.
I can’t speak for my ex-husband, but I know now there were parts of me I had locked away.... they were the past... it didn’t matter.
Only it did matter..... and as a result I blew that life up, that marriage up. The only place to go from being dead inside is to staying dead inside.... or allowing growth to finally happen.
I’m a natural growth oriented person (I used to apologize about this..... so if that’s also you....don’t apologize anymore.... it’s a strength, not a fault!) what I found was that the spiritual path wasn’t a destination at all.... in fact it was a path that lead to another path.... It connected everything so life could become more cyclic in nature like the female body.....
Do you know that the main component for vaginal orgasms is being able to open up and surrender? If you don’t have that, all the technique in the world will get you nowhere..... I’ve since learned that lesson.....
You know what else I learned, when you listen to your body, instead of your head and ‘the supposed to’ in a relationship..... sexual pleasure goes deeper and that space to open up and surrender is more available.
So I’m going to ask you.....
Can you remember a time when you came up against a challenge in your life?
How you had to figure out how to get past a big obstacle?
How did it feel when you took action? When you broke through old limited behavior & thinking?
Rewiring yourself for a growth mindset, even when it comes to pleasure is another key to make it through the motherhood journey. That’s why I created the roadmaps that became the Thriving in the Unknown program. (It’s as much for me as it is for everyone that gets it!)
Your kids are going to grow and change every year, when you adopt your own growth mindset their growth doesn’t trigger you into fear, in fact you learn to welcome them growing up, expanding, exploring..... and even fucking up.... you will welcome it because you’ve been there, and you keep going there.
The other thing a growth mindset allows you to do, is to show your children you are human, it shows them ways to handle set backs and celebrations because you’re already doing it.... not just talking about it.... when you walk your talk as a mother that is far more impactful than just the words that come out of your mouth.
Also, when it comes to pleasure.... when you can embrace your own, when you can feel what it means to be a sexual being again...... them becoming sexual beings isn’t so scary, it’s welcomed as part of the natural cycle of life.
Some people complain all day about wanting more out of life..... but they brush off every possible avenue with a knee-jerk excuse of, "That won't work for me."
True, some things will work, and some won't. Some courses are legit, and some terrible, but if you're not willing to try something new, you better get used to the same old lifestyle and the same old outlook on your life.
On the other hand, if you keep an open mind about what might work for you, you're sure to see more opportunities.
And, along with them, more pleasure..... and what you find pleasurable in your life.... pleasure defined by your body, soul & mind!
So what do you like to do for fun? What does pleasure mean to you? I want to know..... Cause for me Pleasure is creating and sharing. Part of my journey on The Ignited Path is creating things to be shared with you… the ones that walk with me..... So comment below and let me know.... if you aren’t ready to start that conversation, with some chick you are just getting to know that’s cool.... I never used to respond to these requests either (I do now.... cause I’ve found it to be fun and a challenge my own way of thinking!)
